well, my grandfather passed away last night. it's the first time i saw someone 'tgh nazak', it's the first time i kiss the 'mayat'..and its a very emotional moment for me! eventhough i wasnt close to my grandfather, seeing him in that state is scary and sad.

due to that, havent had a single sleep since yesterday. coz he passed away at 11.30pm..so called everyone to come and all...by the time i reached home, it was almost 4am...then woke up at 5.30am..get ready coz the 'mandi mayat' is at 8am...since my dad is the oldest son, he have to reach first..everything ended at 4pm...

i left and went to meet zaini since my nenek hse is at hougang too. lepak with him, faisal and shameer. then home sweet home!

i got dark circles oready.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how come we're afraid of dying but we're not afraid of doing all the sins?



the other day, i had a dream that i broke my tooth. old people say, if you dreamt you broke your tooth, it means that someone around you will die. so when i had that dream, i thought it would be my grandfather. coz he's been really really sick for the past few months. and now, he's like on his deathbed. moreover, his been uttering 3-digit numbers. the other day, when i went to visit him, he ask " no. 102 dah balek?". we'll just laugh it out and said "dah".

so anyway, when i had that dream, i thought it would be him. but i dint tell anyone. then i started worrying what if it was someone close to me. like zaini...or my parents..or my friends..! then this morning, i got a call from nadia, my pri sch friend. she said 'sardine' mom passed away! (innalilah wa innalilahi rajiun)

'sardine' is my pri sch bestfriend. her real name is sadrina btw. i was fucking shock ah. just a few days ago i asked her how her mom, she said she's doing fine..and suddenly, the mum gone! sedih kan...

then i started to think, what if it happened to me..confirm i cry like shyte sia eventhough i dunt like my mom. you know, like the person you see everyday suddenly not there anymore. and some more its your MOTHER. if you get what i mean. sedih lah sia....

i hope 'sardine' is strong enough to go thru this. and hopefully, she will change to a better person! less clubbing, less drinking, less sex! ahahahkz!




okbye!!




iloveyou..
♥

i think i'm gona hit depression anytime soon.
i hate the feeling.

If I Were A Boy





If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (and you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy…

it feels good to have my girlfriends again! so nowadaes, been meeting 2 of my pri sch besties. ifa and sad. the other day, we went shopping at far east then went shesha at arab st. and just chill together! its good that we're trying to make time for each other..catching up and stuff since we usually see each other atleast TWICE A YEAR! so imagine when we meet, confirm got alot to talk about. its fun!

and i like it when people asked how long we know each other. and we will say " since primary school" at the same time! ahahkz! time flies so fast, and i realise i've known ifa for almost a decade! long or what~! ((:

eversince i met my pri sch friends, i realised i really have changed alot! i know i've changed..but not that alot ah..! so to have people you so-called grow up with saying how i used to be and all, made me realised. they said i used to be decent nonsense..but now, ermm..wild? hahakz! but i think i've only changed on the outside and not the inside. besides the fact that i've grown strangely quiet since the start of poly. other than that, i pretty much still the same me. i guess. hahakz! oh well, i'll mature.

and i miss my zaini like alot alot! i wish the time would go faster so i can meet my zaini now..
OK BYE!






iloveyou..
♥

wednesday

went out with 2 of my pri sch besties. ifa and sad. since ifa had her off day and sad wanted to enjoy b4 sch reopens, we went clubbing at butter factory. met up with ifa and had our dinner at ramen 10. after sad came, we went mini shoppynk coz ifa wanted to look for a top. bought the top and we cabbed to robertson quay coz we didnt know where butter factory was! ahahkz! we searched the whole robertson quay and finally found it! the place look empty! but we just went in anyways.

inside, we were approached by a few guys. we hot stuff or what~! ahahahhakz!! this bald guy bought us a jug and expected us to go zouk with him. he danced with us..drink with us...but we still dint want to go with him. after he left..another 2 guys came. they danced with us..and bought for us another jug. one of the guy was all over ifa and sad went missing to god knows wer..so i chat with the other guy. then i went to look for sad. she was outside chatting with this guy..so i joined her..by then, the club was closing. and the guy friends came. there were 6 of them. sad left me and ifa and she went off with her ex. so we hang out outside the club together. we hang out till 4 i think...then we went to eat at river valley. one of the guy was driving.

then zaini came after work. coz i told him i was with ifa and 6 other guys. he got angry! so i cabbed back with ifa. only to realised i dunt have enough money! so i dropped at hougang..and waited for zaini under his blok. we talked and stuff..after some tears, hugs and kisses. we ok oready! stayed at his house for awhile to watch "friends" then home sweet home!


thursday

met up with zaini coz initially, planned to go dbl O with his workmates again. but cancelled. so we went pasir ris. wanted to watch movie but none was interesting. we packed subway and off to the park. stayed till 1am..then home sweet home!


and ifa scolded me wen she found out about my "zainida"..she nag nag nag! ahahkz! and a few guys at the club also ask me what it means. and i proudly told them its my boyfriend name and my name! ((:

iloveyou zaini, and trust me, i wouldn't cheat on you! we've known each other for almost 5yrs.. you should know what kind of person i am. and you should know how much iloveyou! you'll always be my only one! i fucking swear!!! ((:




iloveyou..
♥

Labels: theres noone else like you

today was hmmm....went to school halfway! actually, didnt even step into school. i took 168 to woodland, then last min decided not to go! ahahkz! stupid, i know.

so i took the bus back to tamp and went my grandma hse to take a temporary hp coz mine was sent for repair. stayed for awhile there, when my uncle suggest we go fetch my aunt at toa payoh and have lunch with her because he wanted to see me drive. so i drove the uncle and the grandma to toa payoh! sanggop he buy for me the 'P' plate coz mine was left in my dad car.

my uncle car was manual!! so wth~! the car stall alot of times even during u-turn! ahahhakz! so the journey to toa payoh was full of panic and shouting! ahhakz! i tink now i prefer my dad than my uncle. my uncle damn noisy lah...! but the journey back to tamp was rather smooth coz i kinda got used to the car oready. AND AND! my parking improved! straight seh~! (:

so now i can drive my uncle car coz he told me to leave the 'P' plate in his car just incase i wana use the car! ((:

so whoever wana go rounding with me, please buy insurance first. and before you go in the car, mengucap and selawat banyak2! ahahkz!

and and i bought myself a dress for this wed! do you how long ive not shop!! freaking long ah! coz i've been damn broke..still havent pay my bills. i was walking alone around tamp looking for a shop that sells charger, but i stumble upon this dress. the best part, it was on sale! so i bought it! i'm a happy girl! ((:

after this, i dunt think i'll be shopping anytime soon. have to pay bills and pay ery back. -_-!!
and i'm freaking jobless!!! BAH~!





iloveyou..
♥

for the past 3days, my days is packed with activities!

wednesday:
hari raya with the pri schmates. it was AWESOME! coz 3/4 of the malay peeps in the 'class' turned up! all the long-lost faces..like shahidah begum and liyana! everyone havent really changed and most of the guys already got their bike license..but since me and ramadan dint drive, the guys left their bike and took the bus together! jiwe mah..! sadly for me, zaini dint come along coz he was tired and had to work! grrrr............!! we jln raye till 12..then home sweet home!


thursday:
dbl O with zaini and his workmates! it was fun! before that, me and zaini went to highlight our hair. now we look like mat rep and minah rep! ahahahkz! aniway, we stayed at dbl O till lights on..aft dbl O, we went RAV club to continue drinking. by then i was damn tired oready sia! stayed till 7am...then home sweet home! zaini sleepover my hse till 2pm.


friday:
jalan raye with the WOC! so aft zaini left to changed, at 4 they came to fetch me..then fetch fezmi and off to syaf's hse! shameer drive lorry! ahahhakz! it was fun! at night, it was freaking cold and when we were at the expressway, the wind was so damn syiok! can sleep sia. we jln raye till 2am..then home sweet home!


pics will be uploaded when i have them! ok?ok!





iloveyou...
♥

i love marie digby!!
i think i'm starting to get obsess with her. her voice damn nice ah..and she damn talented! and all her original songs are so nice! the lyrics are very meaningful. i think tmr i wana go get her cd. ahahakz! sanggop....!

this is one of her song. love it!!





go listen to all her original songs. consperm you like sia! very nice! ok?ok!

BYE!






iloveyou..
♥

GOOD NEWS!


i got my driving license oready! ((:
BUT! my parking still fail terribly! ahahakz! went out with my parents awhile ago to get used to the car. i drove to lau pa sat then back home..but when it comes to the parking part, my dad was damn frustrated with me! ahahhakz! reverse pergi..reverse balik...the car still senget! then he angry! ahahhakz! leks ah father..! atleast i nvr hit any car wat...! kan? kan? good enough oready!

so if can, tmr driving the boyfriend and the bestfriend around! he gave the green light earlier on when i asked, but after tonight, hopefully he havent changed his mind! ahahhakz! shyte~!

aniway, this wed jalan raya with the pri schmates!!!! YAY!! miss them alot alot! this tyme, i heard, the response were better than last yr. so hopefully, theres no last min back out!! if not, we'll end up at sha's hse again watching dvd and ordering pizza! ahahkz! wo0tz! can't wait!

then on fri, jalan raye with the WOC! wee~! its either me & shameer driving or we take the public transport! still havent decide! so we'll just see how it goes on fri..wo0tz!

and i feel like quitting school!!!!! eversince school reopens, i only came to school 2 times!! wth~! actually, i didnt want to skip for the last 2 weeks. but that time kena hospitalized from mon-thurs...then the following week, hari raye! ahahkz! self-declared holiday ah sia! but i promised myself to come from nxt wk onwards. if not, i have to repeat another yr! tak sanggop..!! so yeah, SCHOOL! HERE I COME!

and before i forget..........